Today Josh did the unspeakable. I had decided to finally formally announce my love to Josh in public. So I decided to propose. I did it in front of everyone else. He... declined! He said he couldn't be committed. However he was committed enough to come to school. He was committed enough to carry on using his gaming laptop and not upgrade. He was even committed enough to talk to me. I hate how he plays with my emotions using his depression to his advantage. People just think he's a cool kid when really he has told me that he is clinically depressed. Someone that uses clinical depression as an excuse to play with people's emotions sickens me to my belly button. This is why every night I drug him and take him to my house. I lock him down in my basement in a chair. I then give him anti-depressants and show him photos of me and him in our trips. Like the time we were staying in Paris to get away from his parents. I thought wow! If I could take this in a shot right now. Or the time we played that Blink 182 song that we beat to death in Tucson, okay. These Josh Logs may seem like I don't like Josh but I love Josh so much I want him to be better and sometimes being mean is the only way to do so. If you look at me, I was beaten by my parents at a young age and now I'm completely normal and also I am not obsessed.